Apparently, I turned fifty sometime over the last few days. Years. Old. God, what did you think I meant? You know what else turned 50 this year? The 25th amendment. Just an observation. Anyway. I celebrated by riding in the middle seat of a rented Ford Explorer for eight hours with two Labradors in the … Continue reading I Turned Fifty and This is What Happened
There is a very nice lady in my Monday morning Barre class. She seems to have taken a liking to me, as she introduced herself two weeks ago as I hung up my mat. "I'm Joyce," she said, and offered her hand. "Nice to meet you!" I said, and aggressively pressed the bottle of mat-cleaner spray into it. Undeterred, last … Continue reading Why Can’t We Be Friends?
That's right. It's better than yours. Today is my birthday. I am "waxes my lady parts the same day I pluck my chin" old. I am a Libra, and, as such, am way more balanced and rational than you. Also I am charming and irresistible, especially on wax and pluck days. I have always been … Continue reading My Sun Sign Brings All the Boys to Uranus