How to Eat a Chicken Pot Pie. Still going strong, since 2014.

Well, by “strong” I mean it still gets read by people in the Ukraine, once in a while. Do they have chicken pot pies there? They must.

I want to write funny/sad/angry without agonizing. I want to give cryptic titles to my essays that aren’t roadmaps to what it’s about. I want people to be intrigued by the title, read it and then go back and go “ohhhhhhhh I get it.”

Did I say I was going to write some fiction? I’m a little afraid of that. What if I don’t know that I am terrible?

I am very tired. I did manage to make it to the gym yesterday, and I drank more water than I have in months. The more I drank, the thirstier I got, which probably means I was dehydrated.

I made a couple dollars writing, then I went to the job that keeps me from saying exactly what I think on the internet but pays the bills. Then I stayed up until 12:30 watching Friends. I am in the final two season stretch, and I already know how it ends ’cause I watched it the first time.  I found a couple of clips on the internet a while back and the laughs brought me levity I hadn’t felt in months so I started binging. Now I fast forward through the cringe-y stuff and I am trying to get to “She got off the plane.” Then I’m watching that Paul Rudd series.

I know that the series is problematic. Much like anything from that period (and now, too, let’s not kid ourselves) it is six different kinds of phobic, makes bad fat jokes and my god they are whiny. Entertainment is hard to navigate, especially when it is from a few years ago, without encountering jokes that fail now.

Up at 6am. Pissed at my husband by 6:15. Nefarious plotting until 7:00. Yell at inanimate objects and cats until 7:30. Agonize over my character until 8, and here I am.

There are three far better essays than this in my draft folder that I am currently doing everything I can to avoid working on. And I think maybe I shouldn’t be working on them right now. I tried this last year and failed, but creativity is a habit – if I can get into an introspective groove every morning for two hours, I may find that translates into productivity.

Or just 30 terrible word salads that I keep forgetting to remove from my blog.

If I had an office I would start working at 6 because I could do it without disturbing my husb….

Well now there’s an idea on how to get him moving on that office.


 

 

 

 

 

 

2 thoughts on “It Took Two Hours to Write This?

  1. Please dont go ‘click-bait’ titles. Office still aint done. Went from procrastinater straight to slacker. Possibly lazy bum. Maybe move office back to bedroom. Clickety-click and usual office rustling all night long can be a powerful motivator to the soon to be sleep deprived. Suggest ceramic coffee cup and big ass metal spoon to clank the witching hours. Sometimes is good to be evul.

  2. One of the things I love about your blog is that you are REAL. I don’t feel so alone. I too, rage at headlines, struggle with writing, get overwhelmed with the every day. I love that you can laugh about it. I love that you have made a little cash from your writing. I still wonder if I ever will. Why are we so fragile? Writers? I think it’s because we open our souls when we write, for anyone who is gifted at reading between the lines anyway… I always look forward to your posts. If there is anything I have learned it is that we are so much harder on ourselves than the world will be. Hang in there you got this!

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